I share a skull with a madman, who is also an arsehole. And he’s wrong.

Yesterday I was watching a TV quiz show while eating dinner (The Wheel – to much show, not enough quiz) and one of the questions was about which New York borough was furthest north. The options were Staten Island, Manhattan, Brooklyn and the Bronx.

I knew it was the Bronx and even added a little flourish by “singing” (about as well as Frank dances) the line “The Bronx is up and the Battery’s down” from New York, New York in On The Town

Ding! Correct!

And that was that.

Until 3:30am this morning when I sat straight up in bed with my some part of my brain insisting “YOU GOT THOSE LYRICS WRONG – IT’S: ‘THE BOWERY IS UP AND THE BATTERY’S DOWN’!”.

Now, I’m confused and tired and wondering what the hell is going on and, after a minute, I’m wondering what part of me thinks this could possibly matter right now.

And then, of course, I’m annoyed because I know I’m right.

“No I didn’t,” I think. “The Bronx is up, and people ride in a hole in the groun’ – which is as desperate attempt at forcing a rhyme as you’re ever likely to find in any wonderful town”.


So, at 3:33 in the morning I’m picking up my phone to check Comden & Green’s lyrics.

“There, Bronx up, Battery down!”


“Some acknowledgement would be nice…”


And then I’m awake for an hour wondering what the hell is going on and why I share my skull with a madman, an arsehole and an idiot.

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