Tapes from the Crypt

Tapes from the Crypt was a column I wrote for Matrix from 2001-2006, the idea was to look at older movies released on DVD and to deal with them in what, I hope, is an amusing style. The format obviously owes a debt to those question-and-answer-style columns that started appearing in national newspapers around the same time.

20 MILLION MILES FROM EARTH

20 Million Miles From Earth (1957) would be just one more instantly forgettable 50s b-movie if it wasn’t for the wonderfully engaging model work of special effects genius, Harry Harryhausen.

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CROSSWORLDS

Crossworlds is the story of a young man who discovers that his father came from another dimension and that he is the key to mysterious crystal that could end a war. It may well be the most exciting science fiction … Continue reading

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DAY THE WORLD ENDED

Surely nothing could be worse than waking up to discover that nuclear war has brought an end to civilisation as we know it? In Day the World Ended Samuel Z Arkoff and Roger Corman set out to prove that nuclear … Continue reading

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KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE

In 1988 Killer Klowns From Outer-Space cost two million dollars (about ten million dollars in today’s terms – or £12.58 given the current exchange rate). Martin McGrath discovers that the amount of money wasted is the both the funniest and … Continue reading

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RETROACTIVE

Karen has to travel back in time to stop a killer, but instead things get worse. Karen has to travel back in time to stop a killer, but instead things get even worse Karen has to travel back in time … Continue reading

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SPACE FURY

Space Fury (2000) (AKA In the Dead of Space, don’t let Hollywood trick you, if you’re going to watch this crap make sure you’re doing it on purpose) is proof that all you need to make bad movies are an … Continue reading

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THE LOST WORLD

Adventure! Mysterious lands! Dinosaurs! Huge, impressive beards! The Lost World might be nearly 80 years old, but this movie has it all. It even has Arthur Conan Doyle. And he’s typing!

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THE MOUSE THAT ROARED

If you are going to build an enormously destructive weapon, then please follow the rules laid out in The Mouse That Roared. Make it warble alarmingly when it moves, place an alarm clock inside it to scare people and make … Continue reading

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THE NIGHT CALLER FROM OUTER SPACE

The Night Caller From Outer Space (1965) AKA Blood Beast From Outer Space proves that not just American girls are threatened by the lustful advances of alien beasts. Martin McGrath leaves humming the theme tune, over and over and over…

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THE SEVENTH SEAL

1988’s The Seventh Sign is a film in the tradition of Rosemary’s Baby or The Omen, but, y’know, rubbish. No one who acted in this film has been heard of since 1995. Is it cursed?

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THE WAR GAME

If the bomb had dropped in the early 1960s the English middle class would have been thoroughly inconvenienced — getting a decent cup of tea was going to be bloody hard if all the best china had been smashed for … Continue reading

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THE WICKSBORO INCIDENT

The Wicksboro Incident (2003) is “inspired” by The Blair Witch Project in much the same way that a drunk pissing his name in the snow is “inspired” by Picasso. And it is proof that low budgets don’t always mean smart … Continue reading

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UFO: THE MOVIE

This issue we descend further into the pits of hell to bring Matrix readers the bad and the ugly in science ficton film. Join us as we reach a new level of terror and explore the tortured mind of troubled … Continue reading

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