{"id":994,"date":"2011-02-24T16:10:17","date_gmt":"2011-02-24T16:10:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/?p=994"},"modified":"2014-06-24T18:14:42","modified_gmt":"2014-06-24T17:14:42","slug":"the-wicksboro-incident","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/?p=994","title":{"rendered":"THE WICKSBORO INCIDENT"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>The Wicksboro Incident <\/em>(2003) is \u201cinspired\u201d by The Blair Witch Project<\/em> in much the same way that a drunk pissing his name in the snow is “inspired” by Picasso. And it is proof that low budgets don\u2019t always mean smart film-making and better imagination. Watch it and see if you can guess which of the \u201cactors\u201d paid for the whole thing as a vanity project.<\/h3>\n

\"\"\"\"So, tell us about your experiences with aliens.<\/strong>
\nWell \u2013 pause, looks down at script \u2013 in 1953 everyone I knew was murdered in a \u2013 pause, looks down at script \u2013 giant government\/alien conspiracy.<\/p>\n

Incredible! How did you survive?<\/strong>
\nI went on the run, hiding for fifty years. I changed my \u2013 pause, looks down at script \u2013 name, kept on the move and told no one what I knew.<\/p>\n

And now you\u2019re telling the story to two imbecilic film students because?<\/strong>
\nGot \u2013 pause, looks down at script \u2013 bored, I guess.<\/p>\n

This acting thing is tougher than it looks!<\/strong>
\nSure \u2013 pause, looks down at script \u2013 is!<\/p>\n

So, what are we going to do now?<\/strong>
\nWell, I\u2019m going to lead you gormless idiots into deadly danger and you\u2019re going to walk around carrying a video camera with endless batteries, endless film and no problem filming in the dark. It seems to be super-glued to your head.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s, like, so cool.<\/strong>
\nNot if you\u2019ve seen The Blair Witch Project.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sorry? Which project?<\/strong>
\nExactly.<\/p>\n

Can you tell us something about these aliens?<\/strong>
\nThey all dress in black suits, which you think a clich\u00e9, but they just want you to think that so you won’t suspect that men in black are real. Psyche! They\u2019re real cunning. And they are telepathic \u2013 but don\u2019t use their powers to notice people pointing video cameras at them from a few feet away. They invented the Harrier jump jet and they chase you with helicopters of various types that might just have been flying around in the sky anyway. They don\u2019t like to show off their advanced technology.<\/p>\n

But you say they invented the jump jet?<\/strong>
\nWell you don\u2019t think America is capable of creating such advanced technology do you?<\/p>\n

But didn\u2019t the British invent the Harrier?<\/strong>
\nBritish… aliens… is there really any difference?<\/p>\n

And where will we find them?<\/strong>
\nIn Texas. They\u2019ve completely wiped out the population of a town called Wicksboro and flattened the whole site, except for its most obvious feature, a giant, shiny steel grain silo. Which is handy, otherwise we\u2019d never find it .<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure the last place the aliens will look for a renegade scientist and two documentary filmmakers making a film about alien conspiracies is a former research site and a place that they wiped from the map?<\/strong>
\nMmm. Maybe we better think this through.<\/p>\n

Too late! Do you think there\u2019s any chance that the secret underground laboratory with the damning evidence of the truth about the conspiracy might have survived?<\/strong>
\nNot unless the aliens (or the script) are really stupid… On second thoughts, yes, yes I do.<\/p>\n

If we get in trouble, do you think I should run for my life, staying away from authority and keeping out of sight or should I arrange to meet with a government agent who lied though his teeth to me at the start of the film? <\/strong>You really aren\u2019t very bright.<\/p>\n

Do you think I\u2019ll die?<\/strong>
\nI think you\u2019ll wish you had after 80 minutes of this hopeless drivel.<\/p>\n

(Originally published in Matrix<\/em> 170, Jan\/Feb 2005)<\/h5>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Wicksboro Incident (2003) is \u201cinspired\u201d by The Blair Witch Project in much the same way that a drunk pissing his name in the snow is “inspired” by Picasso. And it is proof that low budgets don\u2019t always mean smart film-making and better imagination. Watch it and see if you can guess which of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":995,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[8,10,16],"tags":[51,76,43,46,88],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/02\/wicksboro1.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p27AP7-g2","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/994"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=994"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/994\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1761,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/994\/revisions\/1761"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/995"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}