I\u2019ve never avoided cracks in the pavements. I stroll with insouciance (but appropriate care, I\u2019m not stupid) beneath ladders. I don\u2019t check my horoscopes. I\u2019ve never even sacrificed a small animal in the hope that its freshly spewed innards would provide some an insight into the future.<\/p>\n
I have never been superstitious.<\/p>\n
Never, that is, until I began submitting myself to the mind-breaking, soul-shattering, self-confidence-destroying exercise in futility and humiliation that is trying to get editors to accept (and, preferably, pay for) the stories I\u2019ve written.<\/p>\n
Now there are signs and portents everywhere.<\/p>\n
Editors are lined up against me, as implacable and unreadable as those giant stone heads on Easter Island, and I feel like part of some vast cult. Like the Polynesians of old Rapa Nui<\/em> we\u2019re deforesting the land at an ever faster rate as we try to give these cold, primeval gods their proper tribute. Please accept my manuscript<\/em>, we beg the mighty ones. Please be happy with it<\/em>.<\/p>\n So off goes the story and then comes the waiting. A quick response is usually bad news \u2013 the offering was unworthy. Greater sacrifices required. Then time begins to stretch. At first there\u2019s hope. Perhaps you\u2019ve scrambled over a few hurdles\u00a0 and made it closer to the holy grail of (whisper it!<\/em>) publication. Then hope starts to curdle into the fear. Has your manuscript ended up lining the cage of a postman\u2019s gerbil?<\/p>\n One magazine has had a story of mine for seven months. I contacted them after three. \u201cYes we\u2019re considering it,\u201d the magazine said.<\/p>\n I want to contact them again, but a story in limbo is like Schr\u00f6dinger\u2019s Cat. As long as I don\u2019t force them to open the box, then the cat\/story isn\u2019t dead yet. There\u2019s still a chance, although \u2013 unlike the probability pussy \u2013 the odds are always stacked prettily heavily against a happy ending and a bowl of Meow Mix.<\/p>\n And, when (if) an editor does respond I find myself compelled to pore over every syllable for meaning, as if the words belonged to golden Apollo himself and had fallen fresh from the mouth of the Pythian priestess. No Delphic pronouncements were ever so carefully analysed.<\/p>\n This month I received a rejection from the editor of one of the big American magazines. There\u2019s nothing strange in that, I could paper the walls of my home with rejections from magazine editors (not that I would, that would be crazy… and my wife wouldn\u2019t let me. Pesky wife.).<\/p>\n But this rejection was slightly different. Not much different, but just enough that I noticed and, having noticed, began to obsess about it.<\/p>\n Normally the rejections are a polite \u201cno thanks\u201d or \u201cthis isn\u2019t what we\u2019re looking for\u201d \u2013 which presumably covers all points between \u201cgo away and stop writing to us in green ink you weirdo\u201d and \u201cwe just didn\u2019t think your story was very good.\u201d Since I don\u2019t write in green ink, often, I\u2019ve always supposed it means the latter. But this one said: \u201cThis isn\u2019t what we\u2019re looking for… I look forward to your next one, though.\u201d<\/p>\n Oh… Is that meaningful? Is it just the random word generator that editors use to throw together rejections churning up a phrase or did this editor notice <\/em>my story and actually welcome the idea of reading something else I\u2019ve written. Is it an omen?<\/p>\n How do I tell?<\/p>\n And what should I do about it?<\/p>\n I haven\u2019t got \u201ca next one\u201d \u2013 not one that would suit that magazine. I\u2019m working on something, but it\u2019s not ready. Should I rush it in an attempt to strike while the iron is hot? Or should I take my time and work on it so that I avoid using terrible clich\u00e9s like \u201cstriking while the iron is hot\u201d.<\/p>\n I could write back to the editor and demand that they clarify the meaning of their gnomic blatherings, but I\u2019m just neurotypical enough to recognise that this is the behaviour of a borderline sociopath and probably won\u2019t help my cause in the long term. Or I could surrender to superstition. There\u2019s a goat that lives in the field at the bottom of my road. Goats are a traditional beast of sacrifice and the use of their warm intestines as instruments of soothsaying is well established. However, loud spousal sighing and screams of outrage from my daughter suggest this may not be considered appropriate. Also, although the goat is old and looks stupid, it is surprisingly <\/em>hard to catch.<\/p>\n Which leaves me with only one option… write, submit, wait, repeat.<\/p>\n And hope that the great gods of magazines will look favourably upon my offerings.<\/p>\n (This was originally published as the editorial of Focus<\/em> no. 57)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019ve never avoided cracks in the pavements. I stroll with insouciance (but appropriate care, I\u2019m not stupid) beneath ladders. I don\u2019t check my horoscopes. I\u2019ve never even sacrificed a small animal in the hope that its freshly spewed innards would provide some an insight into the future. I have never been superstitious. Never, that is, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[32,67],"tags":[73,46,35],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p27AP7-qo","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1636"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1636"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1636\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1648,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1636\/revisions\/1648"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mmcgrath.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}